All hands are on deck for Tundun’s wedding to Dejumo. Her three friends and flatmates – Brenda, Jedidah and Ihuoma (together classified as her “bestos”) are excited and x-raying the events of the past twelve months that have resulted in this long-desired event. Tundun, now 32, had experienced three prior relationships which had all ended in disappointment with very traumatic experiences for Tundun. All three had been people she knew in school or had met in her working career and she had physical interactions with them, their friends and family. Her friends were sceptical therefore when Tundun announced to them about twelve months back, that she had met Dejumo on Facebook and had decided to meet him in person after numerous chats and video calls. Tundun took the one-hour flight to Port Harcourt from Lagos, just to meet with Dejumo physically, early in their relationship. The three-day weekend sojourn in Port Harcourt was enough to settle her mind to give him a chance. The relationship grew stronger and both parties were convinced that they had common objectives, interests and values and were willing to give marriage their all.
As the “bestos” chatter excitedly, they review their single status and the options open to them as regards meeting their potential partners.
Brenda sighs: “I wonder what the young men are looking for these days. You meet with them at work, weddings and church, enjoy discussions and each other’s company, yet all they do is friendzone you. As Ladies, we can’t afford to be brazen about our interests so what do you do where the guy does not show interest. Na wa o”.
Jedidah replies: “What do you say about those who seem to show interest then tactically withdraw just when you think they will pop the question and get down to proposing? The next thing you know, they are getting married or you find out they were married all along”.
Ihuoma adds: “I keep wondering what chances we have with all the pandemic hullaballoo, limiting movement, events and interactions. The last two years kept things in limbo because of all the COVID restrictions. Thank God, things are finally getting relaxed and interactions are gradually being reinstated.
Brenda interjects: “Yes o. Thank God we can get to meet one another again. However, given Tundun’s success with Dejumo, maybe we should consider internet dating possibilities”.
Jedidah immediately opens the Google Search engine and reels out Wikipedia’s information regarding the subject.
WHAT IS INTERNET DATING:
“Since the 2010s, Internet dating has become more popular with smartphones.
Online dating (or Internet dating) is a system that enables people to find and introduce themselves to potential connections over the Internet, usually with the goal of developing personal, romantic, or sexual relationships. An online dating service is a company that provides specific mechanisms (generally websites or software applications) for online dating through the use of Internet-connected personal computers or mobile devices. Such companies offer a wide variety of unmoderated matchmaking services, most of which are profile-based.
Online dating services allow users to become “members” by creating a profile and uploading personal information including (but not limited to) age, gender, sexual orientation, location, and appearance. Most services also encourage members to add photos or videos to their profile. Once a profile has been created, members can view the profiles of other members of the service, using the visible profile information to decide whether or not to initiate contact. Most services offer digital messaging, while others provide additional services such as webcasts, online chat, telephone chat (VOIP), and message boards. Members can constrain their interactions to the online space, or they can arrange a date to meet in person.
A great diversity of online dating services currently exists. Some have a broad membership base of diverse users looking for many different types of relationships. Other sites target highly specific demographics based on features like shared interests, location, religion, sexual orientation or relationship type. Online dating services also differ widely in their revenue streams. Some sites are completely free and depend on advertising for revenue. Others utilize the “freemium” revenue model, offering free registration and use, with optional, paid, premium services. Still others rely solely on paid membership subscriptions.”
WHAT ARE THE PROS AND CONS?
While online dating may be considered a veritable option for meeting profiled suitors with probability based on sheer numbers of potentials resident in all parts of the world, a lot of “catfishing” occurs with insincerity, dishonesty and lies strewn all around. It is, therefore, necessary to follow up on initial contacts on the internet with good old-fashioned physical contact. It is however noteworthy that even in physical dating, there has been observed insincerity and dishonesty, how moreso where dating is virtual.
The threesome conclude that there is no hard and fast rule – no one size fits all approach to dating as different strokes exist for different folks. Nothing beats seeking God’s face and earnestly waiting on him. He makes everything beautiful in its time. Eccl 3:11
Besto – A slang for a very close friend.
Friend zoning – Regarding someone solely as a friend despite their avid interest or desire for a deeper relationship.
Freemium – A business model where a company offers basic or limited features to users at no cost and then charges a premium for supplemental or advanced features.
Catfishing – The process of luring someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona.