“Navigating Widowhood” a Non-Governmental Organisation (NGO) started by three who share the common status of widowhood and have a passion to assist other widows’ transit into living comfortably and fulfilled lives recently held a fundraiser to assist with its Widow Empowerment Program and launched an endowment fund to conduct its charitable objectives. The NGO seeks to address the various challenges common to widows regardless of age, background, and circumstances. Issues addressed vary from accommodation to finances and include inheritance, companionship, cultural apathy, discrimination, and social stigma, among others. This passion to assist other widows is borne out of their experiences which prepared them for this task.

Ausi, now in her late fifties became widowed at the tender age of twenty-one, while a student teacher, pregnant with her first child. Gbenro, her husband and father of the unborn child was involved in a fatal car accident while returning from an official trip on behalf of his office. It was a harrowing experience for the young lady especially since her in-laws proved hostile and threw her out of the flat where they lived, the very next day. Even after the delivery of their son, the in-laws refused to have anything to do with her or the child. In her despondency, she readily jumped at the proposal of her next suitor to be a second wife. The prospect of having someone placing a roof over her head and food on her table was too good to be ignored as well as the satisfaction of her craving for companionship and leadership. The alternative would have been to return to her parents in the village and she could only envisage a bleak future otherwise. However, this decision brought its own peculiar challenges which formed the basis of her experience:

1. She had found for herself an enemy in wife No. 1 who hounded her at every possible opportunity and often appeared at her school to embarrass her, especially when their husband passed the night at her place.
2. Her new husband treated his children had by her very differently from her first child. He discriminated in favour of his two children causing inequity and disaffection among the siblings.

Consequently, Ausi had to consolidate her position by upping her game. She was privileged to have her second husband establish a school for her which she ran creditably well, enabling all three children to have an even playing field in terms of education and privileges. As time progressed, she also parted ways with him, urging him to return to his first wife.

Adun on her part had lost her husband in her mid-forties some ten years ago. By then, the children were through with school and able to withstand external aggression, particularly from her in-laws. Consequently, she was not in dire need of a husband or benefactor especially as she was financially independent and capable of living comfortably. The assets acquired during her marriage were jointly owned and had devolved on her at his demise. She also ensured that she was fully occupied with several NGOs and various church-related activities. She was socially active.

Lucinda, the oldest of the three, recently lost her husband at over sixty. Having depended on her husband since getting married, she had felt inconsolable and lost at his passing. She craved his companionship and provision but was glad for a family support system she could rely on – her children, both biological and non-biological, for financial support and provision, and her grandchildren for companionship. She lived with her eldest daughter and gladly took care of her children and those of her siblings that were dropped with her to care for.

These three women, therefore, determined in their hearts to run a widow’s support group that holds periodic workshops and funds widow’s emancipation programs where widows are given advice on a personal basis, taught various skills, and given grants to commence viable businesses based on the objective assessment of their feasibility studies. The group also gives widows the opportunity to network through social interactions and engagements as well as interface spiritually praying for one another.

There is no gainsaying the importance of widow support groups in society, whether established by Government, religious bodies, or individuals/NGOs as the vulnerability of widows in society cannot be ignored.

Love

Havilah