Did I hear the cliché, children are a gift from God? This implies that children are God given gifts whether solicited or not. When we consider that even earthly fathers will not give their children hurtful gifts, we better understand that God given gifts must edify him. If we also consider the fact that gifts are expected to be desirable items worth cherishing, it follows that every child is expected to be a desirable gift worth cherishing. This is the reason why births are celebrated from baby showers to child dedications and birthdays etc. However, let us take time to ponder, is every child a good gift? Hmmm…

Take the case of twin sisters – Toru and Tete. Both after marriage, gave birth to their fist fruits Benebo and Okafor, within a month of each other. The two cousins were inseparable attending the same playgroup, church, and family events until Tete moved to another city with her family. Benebo displayed qualities that endeared him to all that encountered him. He was the “perfect child” – well mannered, cultured, obedient and intelligent. He excelled in academics and represented his primary school at various fora. In fact, he could be described as a diamond – priceless and flawless. He readily gained admission to high school and finished in flying colours gaining admission to several Ivy league schools.

Okafor on the other hand, soon fell into bad company and under the influence of peer pressure, developed to be the opposite of his cousin. He never seemed to get things right, became ill mannered and ill tempered, insolent, rude and a truant. He resented school and all forms of discipline, and this quickly reflected on his grades. Tete (his mother) tried all the tricks in the book to raise him right and had even solicited the assistance of her twin, but all her efforts proved futile as Okafor remained unyielding and recalcitrant. Worse still, he latched on to a circle of friends who encouraged his bad behaviour. Worst among them was Muritala, his closest pal, who was a terrible influence. All attempts by Tete to break up their unholy alliance failed.

One day, Tete was invited to a program tagged “Handling children – The good, the bad and the ugly” and after the first segment, she quickly approached the convener and poured out her concerns regarding Okafor and his behaviour. She went on to explain that Okafor who had started school with his cousin, had because of his attitude and peer pressure, fallen behind Benebo by three classes. She wept bitterly as she told his story. She was referred to a counsellor who explained to her the following: “Madam, every child is a PRECIOUS GIFT FROM GOD. As you probably know, a gift is often unsolicited so its contents are often unknown to the recipient until the wrappings are dislodged and the contents exposed. The gift may have immediate appeal or may be something that requires to be deliberated and properly unearthed to appreciate its value. Some children, like cultured diamonds, glow and shine easily, reflecting the right values and mentoring imbibed by them. Others, however, require hewing, pruning, shaping, and polishing to enable them to exhibit their true value which is deeply embedded within. This takes effort in the place of prayers, patient mentoring, understanding and never giving up. In the end it pays as the true diamond hidden under the roughness which could have easily passed as common stone, is unearthed”.

Tete took in all she learned at the counselling sessions and put them to practice. She still benchmarked her son against Benebo, nevertheless she encouraged her son and showered him with Love and encomiums for perceived improvements, however minor. She prayed for him incessantly, guiding his path to success. All the hard work paid off when Okafor aced his High School leaving examinations with distinctions in all his subjects, receiving several awards and scholarships for his college education. In addition, Okafor had metamorphosed into “the ideal son” – God fearing, smart, and civil. He was now a well mannered, focused young man. As he steps into college, he reaches out to his old pal Muritala. Although his previous attempts to convert Muritala had been rebuffed, he refuses to give up and is hopeful of succeeding one day. He is however most appreciative of his mother who took the pains to unravel this rough stone in order to reveal the diamond within.

Love

Havilah