Amoni and Bolurin were key members of the Kingdom Life Parish choir where Bolurin played the guitar and Amoni led praise worship. Both were very active members of the church and complemented each other very well. A formidable friendship developed between them as they always sat next to each other at the various church programs and were always attentive. Gradually, their friendship blossomed into courtship and after a series of marriage counseling by their ebullient Pastor and mentor – Pastor Harry, they tied the nuptial note amid many felicitations. Many of the youth in the church looked forward to a similar fate and considered theirs a union that was “made in heaven.”

Bolurin was the perfect husband and within a year, the couple was blessed with a beautiful daughter – Itare. Amoni felt truly blessed and put her best into ensuring a stable and happy home for her young family. She always radiated joy and was loved by all her in-laws.

However, one fateful day, about three years into their marriage, Amoni was cleaning the room and found some strange objects under their matrimonial bed. She pondered in her mind as she turned them over in her hands…they looked like some kind of charm, a small wooden effigy with her passport photograph attached. No…she thought. I must be dreaming. It cannot be what I am thinking. There must be a logical explanation to this she mused as her thoughts raced on. Could this be the reason Bolurin preferred to clean up the room himself? He would always volunteer to do so at the weekend while she was busy in the kitchen or doing the grocery shopping. They had never kept anything from each other or at least so she thought, and so she resolved to confront him with her latest find.

Later that evening after treating him to his favorite meal of fufu and melon soup (egusi), she surfaced the effigy and gently demanded “Bolurin, what is this and what was it doing under our matrimonial bed?” Bolurin was dumbstruck and the much-expected response failed to form as he struggled with how to explain. Eventually, he found his voice, and with feigned rage to cover his embarrassment, he yelled…” Why were you nosing around? Why were you looking for what is not lost?” This response irked Itare and their first really serious argument ensued. Bolurin lost his composure and told her in no uncertain terms that there was nothing wrong with ensuring they remained together and that before their marriage, he had taken the names and pictures of three girls he had considered as alternatives to becoming his potential wife to some diviners and prophets and each one had picked her as the perfect match. “Has not the marriage worked?” He asked.” I was told to always keep that effigy under our matrimonial bed to ensure that the love remains evergreen.”

A stunned Amoni kept staring at Bolurin as bile welled up in her bowels. She felt like retching and quickly dashed into the bathroom. “Who is this man I have been living with? How could I have missed this part of him? What kind of Christian is he? He appeared to exhibit all the outward signs of Christianity and was versed in all the doctrines but then…this…how does it relate with what he professes? What else has he done which contradicts the faith he professes…Hmmm,” she sighed and came out into an empty room to find that Bolurin had already taken his car keys and she could hear him revving his car engine as he drove out. She pondered her next steps and decided she would have a long discussion with their pastor the next day. She needed to know what Bolurin genuinely believed and what other steps he had taken, for her sanity’s sake. She knew she was strong, and the Lord would help her overcome the shock, but she also needed to know her next steps. She remembered the scripture…Can two walk together except they agree? Could they come to terms with their beliefs? She knew where her faith lies but she now doubted that Bolurin felt the same way. With all he knew about the Christian faith and walk, could she reasonably expect a change? It meant he had pretended to believe all along, how much else about their relationship had been pretense? Was this enough basis to call for a separation or was it a call for soul winning? Just then she realised that little Itare(their daughter) had been waiting by her side for her bedtime story and a goodnight kiss. Amoni shook herself out of her reverie to do the needful. Certainly, Pastor Harry had enough experience to guide her aright, and even if only because of little Itare, she decided to give the marriage her best shot.

If you were Pastor Harry, what would you advise?

Love

Havilah