It is my pleasure to be a guest writer on this inspiring blog Havilla. Let me confess that I’ve been an avid reader right from inception and have gained tremendously from the rich lessons shared in the different episodes. It is indeed therefore a bit of a coincidence that I’m debuting on a topic not too different from where our dear Havilla stopped to take a much-needed break, Celebration of Women.

               I will be discussing the above title from a masculine perspective of the “Woman Wrapper”. This term is used to describe a man under the undue or negative influence of the woman around him, or someone who can easily be swayed by a woman; a mummy’s boy, or perhaps a lily-livered man who does not possess his own mind. In most cases, it is not complimentary. It suggests a boy/man who is tied to the apron strings of his mother/wife.

               However, experience has shown that nature is a good balancer. Most men are usually influenced by women in their lives: mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters.

Ronke is an only girl child among her four brothers. Their daddy was a strict person, and a mere look in the direction of the children was enough for them to swallow any request for favour from their daddy. As they grew, the boys noticed while they didn’t have the courage to ask for things from their father, Ronke could literally get anything by just asking from their daddy, and she was hardly ever refused. Therefore the boys devised a means of being nice to their sister who would be the one to place their requests before their father. The boys therefore discovered the key to getting their requests from their father was Ronke, their sister.

               In a similar situation, Ohita the first born and only female of five children is seen as the “second mummy” in the house in terms of influence. The younger brothers often if not always, seek her help whenever they need fovour from their father, especially if they need to attend parties. Experience has taught them that Ohita, their sister is the key to opening the door of possibility from their father, otherwise his response will likely be negative.

               Mothers are also very important and wield a lot of influence over their sons. In the Bible, we are told of the story of the first miracle performed by Jesus which was inspired by the mother. The story goes that during a wedding event, the hosts were running out of wine. I think experience had taught them that it was easier to reach Jesus whose help they sought, through his mother, Mary, than directly going to him. That was what they did, and the desired result was achieved as Jesus obliged his mother, and consequently, the request of the wedding hosts.

               Several examples abound of men who get approached indirectly through their mothers because of the influence people know these mothers wield over their powerful sons. Just look around, we have political and business titans and people have devised means of getting to them through their mothers.

               A complex interpersonal relationship involving a mother, her daughter and a powerful man can be found in the Bible story when a powerful King Herod sought to reward his stepdaughter for her dancing prowess and asked her to make any demand. The young girl ran to her mother for advice, and the latter responded that she should demand for the head of John the Baptist! The King was helpless as he could not change his word.

               However, it is not always that the influence of women on a man is negative. Let’s look at the situation of one of the most powerful men in recent world history, Barack Obama. He was raised by his mother after his father left them. The greatest influence on Obama was not even his mother but his maternal grandmother.  This was evidenced by the spectacle of Barack Obama in tears at the climax of his presidential campaign when it dawned on him that his influential maternal grandmother would not be alive to witness his swearing-in as President of the USA, which would have been a fitting reward for raising a remarkable man.

               Fast forward, Obama got married to an equally remarkable lady, Michelle Robinson, and both are blessed with two lovely daughters, Malia and Sasha. This is one great world leader whose source of immediate strength has been women, and there is not a speck of controversy in his conduct during and after his presidency, quite unlike many of his peers.

                One may therefore conclude this piece by saying it might actually be a good thing to be a “Woman Wrapper” particularly where the female influencer elicits positive energy from the man. Men tied with such wrappers, will not fall.

ID

All my love,

On behalf of

Havila

Havila wishes to appreciate ID who has not only been an avid reader of my blog but has often contributed his views, comments, and writing expertise in refining and shaping the course of my writing. I suddenly realized I needed some time away from the blog and would have “escaped for about a month, but ID volunteered to step in. For his intervention, I am indeed grateful, and I hope more of my readers will be willing to share their talents in this space as led to do so.