Nothing quite prepares most people for the relationship transition or transformation, when erstwhile ordinary friends turn to family through marriage. In some cases, one is perplexed or jolted and confused as to how to relate to the new family members who used to be just friends.

Jummai and Amina were course mates at the University and became quite close, visiting each other at home. It was during one of those visits to Amina’s house that Sulaiman, Amina’s close cousin met and showed interest in Jummai. Both eventually got married.

While Amina and Jummai were in school, Jummai had dated Basheer, a course mate. But Basheer wasn’t psychologically prepared to settle down when Jummai met Sulaiman, who was a little older and more mature. Even after getting married to Sulaiman, Jummai and Amina sometimes discussed Basheer. “Allah knows what’s happening to Basheer now” Amina once said, adding “Anyway, you’re now our wife. I wish him luck with another lady”, to which Jummai responded, “Yes indeed, I’m happy I met Sulaiman. I pray that Allah is kind enough to Basheer so he too can find a suitable life partner”. Both ladies always made sure that Sulaiman was not within earshot whenever they discussed Basheer. They both have been able to navigate their relationship, transitioning from being friends to becoming family.

Emeka and Chudi were the best of friends at the University and eventually got employed in the same organization. While in the University, Emeka had dated Nancy. They were both lovebirds on the campus, but while Emeka went to Yola for this mandatory national service, he was stunned to learn that Nancy got married to another man who came from abroad, and both traveled out. Emeka was distraught and for a long time could not consider any romantic relationship again. However, he got drawn to Chudi’s sister, Chioma who often served them whenever Emeka visited Chudi his friend. Chudi noticed, and told Emeka “Leave my sister alone o. We are both too close as friends to become in-laws. If something happens between you both, on whose side would I be?” he asked rhetorically, but Emeka responded, “You know me. Our bond of friendship would even get stronger, Chudi. It means I won’t do anything that would hurt you. We would have a double relationship as friends and in-laws”. It took a while, but since Chioma herself liked Emeka, they both got married and were happy together.

Wura and Atinuke were mates during their Advance Level studies and got even closer when they both gained admission to study at the same University. Wura’s male cousin, Segun often saw the two friends and showed interest in Atinuke. Wura was excited as she knew her friend to be a dutiful and homely person. She felt Atinuke would make a good wife for her cousin, and so enthusiastically encouraged the relationship. She did the matchmaking which ended in a happy marriage.

As time went on Atinuke started feeling uncomfortable addressing Wura by her first name as their Yoruba culture frowned at relatives’ wives addressing household members by name. Atinuke soon found a pet name for her erstwhile friend turned-in-law, and Wura too reciprocated by referring to Atinuke as “my sis”.

Have you found yourself in any of these situations when your friend became your in-law? How did you handle it? You may wish to share your experience with other readers.

ID

Love on behalf of Havilla.