Banjo had always considered himself a “stud” when it came to sexual activities and was proud of his prowess. Suddenly, at the age of fifty-four, he could no longer sustain an erection. Try as he could and with all the cooperation from his pretty and active wife Marilyn, he couldn’t keep it up. This caused him grave concern and he became increasingly possessive about his wife. He felt emasculated. The more he failed to meet his expectations, the more intolerant and abrasive he became, and he gradually slipped into alcohol abuse.
However, Marilyn understood his situation and would often assist and encourage him. As he became more depressed about his situation, she offered to accompany him in seeking medical attention and/or counseling. All her offers were rebuffed as Banjo preferred to blame her for the situation.
One Saturday, Banjo went over to Joe’s house to watch the World Cup finals. ( Joe was his seventy-year-old friend with whom he could unwind.) Banjo hit the vodka bottle with venom and by half-time, the bottle was three-quarters empty. As Joe moved the bottle away, he cautioned “Banjo, if you continue this way your life will be cut short. It appears something is eating at you!” While flailing his arms, Banjo blurted out “Of what use am I when I cannot satisfy my wife…I am impotent!” Joe, an older and more experienced man, having himself treated erectile dysfunction, allowed Banjo to vent and when he was calmer, he got into Banjo’s car and drove him home. The next day, he visited Banjo and after enlightening him about the condition and how he had handled and overcome it, he took him to see his doctor.
Erectile dysfunction is the inability to have or maintain an erection thereby preventing a man from having or finishing sexual intercourse. When this becomes a regular occurrence, men tend to become discomfited by it and may react in diverse ways based on their personality types. This condition is quite common especially in older men although men in their forties have been known to experience it. However, if effectively managed, the couple can enjoy satisfactory intercourse.
The treatment regimen proffered is usually determined by the cause of the condition, which is broadly classified as physical, psychological, or lifestyle choices. Examples of physical causes include diabetes, high blood pressure, stroke, sclerosis, prostate enlargement, chronic kidney disease, fatigue, and Parkinson’s as well as some of the associated treatments and medication.
Psychological causes vary and include depression, stress, anxiety, and relationship issues while Lifestyle choices include abuse of drugs, alcohol, and tobacco.
Treatment could therefore consist of any or a combination of the following:
- Medication to manage the underlying physical or psychological conditions.
- Counselling. This is advised for the couple as the partner has a part to play in the acceptability and the healing process. She needs to understand his concerns and show empathy and cooperation.
- Lifestyle changes e.g. weight watching, exercise, quitting smoking, alcohol and drug abuse, and stress management.
- Vacuum Constriction Devices (VCD).
- Surgery in instances of blockage.
- Alternative therapy through supplements and Herbal Remedies.
It is however important that where ED(erectile dysfunction) is suspected, a doctor’s physical and laboratory examinations will be required to make a diagnosis and enable effectual treatment.
Havilah advises that where the partners do not view it as an issue, there are other ways in which they can experience meaningful and satisfactory relationships but where it threatens to destabilise the relationship, help should be sought.
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