As Yahaya sauntered into the house, he observed that the house was in darkness as usual. He was glad he had stopped by at his usual spot to cool off with a couple of beers and enjoy the ambiance before driving home. It was ten minutes past midnight, and he was looking forward to feasting on Hauwa’s excellent cooking as usual. He flicked the torch on his phone and headed for the dining table. To his amazement, the table was bare, and he was immediately filled with horror…this was unlike Hauwa, what could have happened. He practically ran into the room and hurriedly woke her up only to be greeted with “Oh you are back?” Having assured himself that Hauwa was fine, he asked menacingly “Hauwa, what is the meaning of this, where is my food?”

Hauwa replied with a question – “where are you coming from at midnight? I expect you have had dinner to come home at this time, especially since you have constantly neglected to contribute towards our upkeep in this house,” An incensed Yahaya swung out to hit her but missed his target and landed on his knees. “Hauwa, I have often told you that from the day you became my wife, I obtained the right to good and timely meals, sex on demand, and several other rights. I refuse to be deprived!” he yelled.

Hauwa laughed in his face and responded –”Rights without Responsibilities, who ever heard of that? You have consistently failed in your responsibilities whether spiritual, financial, social, or otherwise, but you are always quick to demand your perceived rights. I cannot believe how self-centered you are. Rather than collectively solving our power issues, you would rather fuel your comfort and leave us in the heat…your excuse – you cannot stand the heat. I was born to suffer ehn? Yahaya, you need to review your perceived rights side by side your privileges and responsibilities. Some of what you perceive as rights are in fact privileges and can be withdrawn or withheld where the conditions precedent is unfulfilled.”

Hauwa relayed the incident to Havilah a couple of days later and set me on an expedition regarding Rights, Privileges, and Responsibilities and how they relate to marriage/relationships. The expedition took me to Meta AI where I gleaned the following information.

The relationship between Rights Responsibilities and Privileges is crucial in understanding individual freedoms, social norms, and civic duties.

RIGHTS are inherent and inalienable. They can be defined as fundamental entitlements accruing to individuals and are often enshrined in constitutions, laws, and Agreements.

They protect from harm, abuse, oppression, and discrimination.

They grant freedom and autonomy, enabling individuals to make choices, express themselves, and pursue their goals.

PRIVILEGES are special benefits or advantages granted based on status, position, or circumstances.

They are not inherent or universal and can be revoked or modified. They can be earned or lost.

RESPONSIBILITIES are duties and obligations often in exchange for rights or privileges.

Individuals are accountable for their actions, decisions, inactions, and impact on others.

Responsibilities encourage individuals to participate in the well-being of their communities and societies.

From the above, it would appear that responsibilities exist in marriage whether or not you want to view what accrues from the marriage as a right or a privilege and it is important that both parties fulfill their responsibilities. I however feel that the mode of communication by both parties leaves much to be desired.

Havilah nonetheless welcomes your comments on this topic for a better understanding of it.

Love

Havilah