While listening to the Natasha story on a prime television station last week, I couldn’t help asking myself what it is about sexual harassment/ molestation that makes it so rampant, that it is almost a pandemic. For those unfamiliar with the story, it involves an allegation of sexual harassment brought by a female Senator in an African country against the Senate President of the country. The allegation has garnered mixed reactions across the globe. However, my emphasis today is not on the story itself but rather, on the prevalence of sexual harassment in society at large. Although both sexes experience sexual harassment and/or molestation, it appears that women are the predominant victims. From the classroom to the work environment, even the marketplace, women are not treated with the respect they deserve, and this spans all categories of women – single, married, divorced, and widowed. I recall when in my youth, shopping at the Open markets for clothes the traders, in an attempt to elicit patronage, would practically drag you into their shops and some made lewd remarks as young ladies walked past. It was the norm, and nobody batted an eyelid over it.

However, the trend appears to be on the increase especially as many reported incidences of sexual harassment by highly ranked persons tend to be glossed over and do not even receive a slap on the wrist for their actions. How else does one explain the fact that the President of a world power who was often touted as having sexually harassed and molested several women, still won an election mandate?

I am reminded of the story of Nene who was sexually harassed by her husband’s closest friend – Femi. Femi had been the best man at Nene’s wedding to Obaro. Obaro was a pilot and was often away on long trips from home. One day while Obaro was away, Femi came calling early in the morning, ostensibly to check on his closest friend’s family and ascertain their well-being. Nene was caught unawares as she was busy preparing the children for school. Femi did not resist the urge to grab her breasts through the filmy nightgown she had on. Nene’s sharp reflex earned him a sound slap on the cheeks and as she pushed him out the front door, she called out for help. A couple of days later, Obaro returned from the trip and a visibly agitated Nene, recounted the scene she had with Femi a few days earlier. She needed to let him know that his friend could not be trusted if he could make sexual advances at her. Nene was shocked at Obaro’s reaction. He merely shrugged his shoulders in silence and Nene felt disheartened. Did Obaro really care about her? Did it not matter to him that a man tried to take advantage of her sexually, more so, a family friend? Nene noticed that Femi’s action appeared to have no effect on his relationship with Obaro as they carried on as if nothing ever happened. Femi never attempted to repeat that stunt but then, Nene just could not wrap her head around Obaro’s reaction or rather, seeming lack of reaction.

If you were Nene, would you have handled things differently?  Please share your thoughts.

Love

Havilah