Mother’s Day was celebrated a couple of days ago, and while some mothers were celebrated, others were disdained. Incidentally, just a day before, I was out shopping when I caught a ten-year-old boy attempting to pick a pocket. After calling the attention of the would-be victim and thereby foiling the attempt, I cornered the boy and interrogated him about himself. My questions revealed that he lived with his mother in a one-room apartment some distance away, and he claimed not to have eaten that day. (Mind you, this was around 5 pm). According to him, he was an only child, and his mother had gone partying, which was her usual practice at weekends.

On Sunday, as part of the Mother’s Day celebrations, I watched a playlet that distinguished between the characteristics of a good mother and a bad mother. Wikipedia describes a mother as “the female parent of a child. A woman may be considered a mother by virtue of having given birth, by raising a child who may or may not be her biological offspring, or by supplying her ovum for fertilisation in the case of gestational surrogacy.” This description therefore covers stepmothers, adopted mothers, Spiritual mothers, Godmothers, etc. A mother’s role is undoubtedly pivotal in the proper development of the child because of the emotional attachment, sacrificial love, and affection she exhibits in raising the child. Unlike a caregiver, she is expected to sacrifice time, emotion, and resources as she partners with God in raising the child. She moulds him/her to be a successful individual by shaping perceptions of life, relationships, and interactions while playing the critical role of mentorship, instilling values, habits, and life skills throughout life. She intuitively feels his/her needs and concerns, offering active involvement and support. It follows that a good mother is one who fills the bill, and a bad mother is the converse.

This reminds me of two friends – Rounke and Bimpe. Both had remained friends through university and beyond. After marriage, Rounke settled down to her motherly role, mentoring and monitoring her children, Bambo and Moni. She even passed up an opportunity to take on a high-flying job with a multinational company that required much international travel, preferring one that afforded her the time to mentor and monitor their progress. She sacrificed so much for them that she built a close-knit family of four comprising her husband, herself, and the children. This resulted in phenomenally successful children who were greatly admired by all who came across them. Bimpe, on the other hand, was the chronic socialite – at every society event, borrowing to keep up with the Joneses, investing time and effort in social activities to the detriment of Bolude, her only child. More recently, she was invited by Bolude’s principal and served with his letter of suspension for cult related activities and for poor grades in his academics. The School’s Guidance Counsellor had waded into his matter and, after a series of interrogations, had submitted his report to the principal. The report was an indictment of Bimpe. It appeared Bolude’s behaviour was his way of seeking his mother’s attention. He had suffered neglect from her and craved her attention and affection. He loved her dearly, but believed she did not care about him, and whatever he did was of no consequence.

As we reflect on the true essence of motherhood, we must remember that the family is a microcosm of society, and the mother holds the steering wheel, guiding the family. She sets the building blocks for the child’s development. Undoubtedly, a good and proper upbringing is essential to a better future generation. While I doff my hat to mothers who are effectively playing their role, I pray that those trailing behind will view this as a wake-up call to the tremendous responsibility on their shoulders in raising the next generation. May the Lord grant mothers the wisdom, strength, and willingness to do the needful for their children.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Love

Havilah