Have you ever skipped a day, I mean, omitted a day? I woke up this morning, thinking, hey… It is Wednesday, and Havilah needs to speak. I get on the laptop and realise it is Thursday, 5th June, not Wednesday, 4^th June. All due apologies to my avid readers.

Feranmi was born into an upper-middle-class family with many domestic staff ranging from the gardener, steward, and cook to a personal maid. Her maid, Omawumi, was responsible for laundering her clothes among other tasks, and ensured she was impeccably dressed at all times. It therefore came as no surprise that Feranmi often won the neatness badge for her class. Her pleated uniform was always well starched and ironed, making her the envy of most of her classmates. It was indeed a feat to beat the sharp, clear edges of the pleats in her uniform with just the right amount of stiffness. The uniform was a complicated combination of box and side pleats that proved a challenge to most.

One evening after Omawumi had finished ironing Feranmi’s uniform, she took the ironed uniform on a hanger to Feranmi’s room. Later in the evening, Feranmi inspected the uniform and yelled out for Omawumi in an angry tone. Immediately Omawumi appeared, Feranmi started berating Omawumi and lashed out with angry words. Despite Omawumi’s apologies for the less-than-perfect state of the uniform, which she attributed to her ill health, Feranmi raged on. She raked up such a fuss that Feranmi’s mother was roused from her siesta and was forced to inquire about the cause of the rumpus. Feranmi immediately pointed to the uniform hanging in her wardrobe and blurted out, “Mom, see what Omawumi expects me to wear to school. How can I win the neatness badge with this?”

Feranmi’s mother was enraged at her daughter’s actions. She exploded, “Feranmi…you are insolent! Apologise to Omawumi immediately! Not only is she older than you, but you have no right to talk to her this way. You do not pay her salary, so you have no right to demand anything from her, and she is not answerable to you. Respect is reciprocal and if you want to be respected, you must respect others. Going forward, you must launder your school uniform yourself so that you learn to respect and appreciate the labour she puts into ensuring she feeds your ego. She is the person who deserves the Neatness badge because it is the direct result of her efforts.”

Feranmi’s mother ensured that Feranmi laundered her uniform herself and went through the frustrations of variability in starching results, coupled with the challenges of wrinkle-free ironing. After five fruitless attempts, Feranmi apologised profoundly to “Aunty Omawumi” and became much more respectful. She had learned to appreciate people’s efforts and respect for them, regardless of status. She had learnt respect for the individual.

Feranmi’s story reminds me of one of the Core Values of a company I once worked for. RESPECT FOR THE INDIVIDUAL was one of its core values, and it was emphasised. The resultant impact on overall productivity as a result of this value cannot be overstated. Staff were enthusiastic to put in their best efforts to achieve corporate goals.

It is therefore important that we instill this value into our children and ourselves, and it starts from how we as parents treat people around us, especially those in a lower social status than ourselves. May the Lord teach us the right things to do.

Love

Havilah