While rummaging through some items to which I have been sentimentally attached over the years, I came across the sleeve of a cherished musical album that made waves half a century ago. The South African album – Ipi Tombi! (Did I hear a chuckle…wow, half a century ago?) Well, it got me thinking about one of my favorite songs in the album, titled Nadia. Nadia told the story of a young man who had to leave his village, leaving behind his wife, three children, and aged parents, to seek greener pastures in the city, with the hope of providing them with a better life. It captures the concerns, uncertainties, and cultural shock, but ends on a hopeful note of achieved expectations and a reunification with the family. That was the trigger I needed to recall the common incidence of employee migration and its sometimes-unintended impact on families, resulting in fragmented family lives. Take the case of Boye and Ike.

Boye, married to Linda with two beautiful children in Secondary school, lost his job due to “rightsizing” by his employers, and for two years, try as he may, he couldn’t secure a job. Linda was, however, cooperative in maintaining the home to tide them over the rough patch. In the third year of unemployment, he got a mouth-watering offer in Zambia and proceeded with the intention of long-distance commuting to keep the family unified. This was agreed with Linda, who felt unsure about leaving her lucrative job for the unknown in Zambia and had concerns about the impact on the children’s education. Boye thought he had it all under wraps, and for about a year, everything worked out just fine. Thereafter, the visits home came at longer intervals, and Linda could not make the trip over with the children except at Christmas. Boye attributed the reduced visits to his workload and his work-related responsibilities in other regions. By the time the children gained admission to the university and Linda saw the need to relocate to Zambia, she discovered that he had a daughter through an ongoing relationship in Zambia. Although this was deeply disconcerting to Linda, wise counsel prevailed, and she was able to win back her husband and accept the addition to the family.

Ike, on the other hand, was seconded by his company to serve in their regional office in Egypt. His wife, Morenike, was apprehensive about how the move could affect the family, so she quit her job and insisted that they relocate along with the children. Unfortunately, when she arrived in Egypt, the terrain was difficult for her, and obtaining a job proved impossible. She tried her hand at business enterprises but was equally unsuccessful. The situation put a strain on their relationship at home, resulting in Ike spending less time at home. Before she knew it, she fell into the temptation of having an extramarital relationship. This shattered the core of their relationship, with both parties putting up appearances for the public.

Havilah realises that employee migration is inevitable in a world that is fast becoming a global village, but the pros and cons must be weighed carefully, expectations spelt out and executed, and discipline and restraint exercised. Of course, numerous families have successfully charted the course of employee migration and have reaped its benefits. It, however, could put a strain on marriages and families and must therefore be carefully weighed and agreed upon before embarking on it. There is certainly no “One cap fits all,” and each family must consider their peculiarities before taking such decisions. As we migrate in search of greener pastures, let us bear in mind the words of my favorite piece…” Look at that bright star, always remember under that same star we’ll be together.”

Love

Havilah