Making Lemonade Out of Lemons!

As I walked into the hospital to visit a friend on admission, in walked a young female Doctor on the ward round and my friend introduced me to her as Havilah. Immediately, her face lit up. She introduced herself as Banke and requested that I stop by her office on the way out. On my way out, I obliged by stepping in to see Banke and she requested that I post her story. Please read Banke’s story.

“One day, several years ago, (as a young teenager of eighteen) at about five in the morning, I stood on a busy street in our city shivering from fear and cold when this saloon car stopped and reversed to pack beside me. I looked away, expecting it to be one of those men in search of a sexual partner. I could not bear to go through that experience again but though afraid, I remained rooted to the spot. Suddenly, a matronly looking woman emerged from the car dressed in a sparkling, crisp white nurses’ uniform. It was Mrs. Mfon Bassey. She was returning home from her night shift and had spotted me. As she approached me with a smile, she offered to give me a lift home and I got into the car. When I was comfortably seated, she asked for my name and address, I burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably. “Ma,” I said, “I cannot go home. My mother will kill me”! She calmed me down and quietly drove me to her apartment where she lived with her sister and two children. She was widowed. After a bath and hot meal (the first I had in a long while), she asked me what I was doing on the street at that time of the day.

Ma, I began, “I am the first of three children born into a family where my deceased father was a bus driver and my mum, was a petty trader. Things seemed to be working for us until I lost my father at the age of five, to a motor accident. Thereafter, my young mother of three was branded a witch especially as she refused to marry her late husband’s senior brother as a second wife. She was consequently ostracised by both her own family and my father’s. Mama struggled to send me and my younger ones to school and I passed both my SSC examinations and JAMB (Joint Admissions And Matriculation Board) examinations with flying colours. Unfortunately, the funds to pursue my education at the University were not available and I felt devastated. I however continued to help Mama in the shop with her petty trading. That fateful day, Aunty Becky (our neighbour) approached me informing me that she would introduce me to her “work” which would enable me to raise the much-needed funds for my education. She however entreated me not to discuss it with my mother as she intended it as a surprise. That evening she asked me to dress up and accompany her although she informed my mother that I would be babysitting her sister’s children as their parents would be away for the night. Instead, she led me to a brothel where… (I broke down in tears again) I was sexually assaulted, debased, and traumatised ma, I could not wait for Aunty Becky to find my way out of there.”

Mummy Mfon showed empathy and promised to accompany me to see my mother and talk things over with my mother. That chance meeting with mummy Mfon was the visit of the angel that transformed my life. She did as promised and took me home and after a long discussion with my mum, I was asked to pack my few belongings and follow her home. Thus started my climb to a better life. I helped with household chores and was paid a salary which I sent to my mother to help with my sibling’s school fees. Mummy Mfon treated me like a daughter – fed and clothed me and encouraged me texamso learn a trade… make-up and gele tying. She encouraged me to retake the JAMB  and I got admitted on merit to one of the best institutions in the country to study medicine. She promised to pay my tuition until graduation and remained faithful to that promise. My make-up and gele tying skills assisted me in meeting up with living and other expenses. On my part, I impacted Mummy Mfon’s life by enabling her cost reduction due to my bargaining skills and approach as well as making nutritious cost-effective meals. I can proudly say I am who I am today because I met an angel in human form who transformed what would have remained the saddest day of my life into the best day of my life.

I intend to someday, write my autobiography but would wish to acclaim this wonderful woman, while she is still alive. Please ma, do me the honour.”

I left Banke’s office thinking to myself that this is God’s commandment in practice. This kind of love for your neighbour is what is needed to transform our societies. If things had been different, this young lady may have ended up in the world’s oldest profession – prostitution, instead of a doctor. So many of us are in a position to transform lives and impact our societies by lending a helping hand whether it is with the provision of services, advice, finances, connections, essentials like food, clothing, housing, job opportunities and the like but we would rather turn a blind eye to people’s needs and end up complaining about the banes of our society, when collectively, we can reduce the impact. May the Lord help us all.

Love

Havilah

Belema, is a beauty to behold. A slim, tall glowingly black beauty with curves in the right places and graceful long legs that bear her elegant mien. Her entrance into any room usually attracts the attention of men and women alike, as heads always turn in her direction. However, on this rainy day, she was parked in the parking lot of a mall, miles away from her home, battling with a plethora of emotions ranging from anger to self-pity. “How in the world could Micky have treated me this way? ” She felt ridiculed.  Enraged by his actions, she had sped out of the driveway to their home and embarked on this long drive to keep a rein on her emotions. After walking through the mall, she felt better able to drive back home and have a much-needed talk with Micky, her husband to ensure that such a scene would NEVER repeat itself – sober or tipsy.

That evening, Micky had invited some colleagues and cohorts over to his home to watch an important football match over drinks. After guzzling down a couple of beers and with the euphoria of his preferred team taking the lead by halftime, in a loud voice, he summoned Belema and instructed that she put on bum shorts and strut before his friends to show off her figure and awesome legs. He was proud of his wife’s beauty and she is his prized jewel.

Belema, a very humble and private person who never wore shorts outside her home because she felt uncomfortable with the stares she often got even while clothed conventionally, was awestruck. In the twinkling of an eye, her emotions swung from embarrassment to feeling insulted and finally enraged. She swung around, reached for her car keys, and headed straight out of the door without uttering a word. If she had waited a minute longer, she would have inevitably engaged in a face-off with Micky. As she left, thoughts crowded her mind.” What does he take me for, a prized jewel? A chattel to be flaunted and paraded before his friends? Not even a consideration for my self-esteem?”

As she backed her car angrily out of the garage, Victor (Micky’s closest associate) patted him on the back and declared “Old boy, that was a very wrong move on your part…you had no business doing what you just did”. Micky snorted and replied sharply “I was just appreciating God’s handwork on her. She should be grateful that I appreciate her the way I do”. Some of the other colleagues nodded in agreement but Victor continued, shaking his head vigorously. “No Micky, that was uncalled for. Certainly not in public. If it were just the two of you, why not…but not with other men around”. Micky reacted with hurt pride, raising his voice “But none of you is a stranger to her. I am thoroughly disappointed with her behaviour. Imagine the disgrace – disobeying me before all of you!” Victor quietly decided to bury the discussion for another day when his friend would be sober.

While recalling the above episode, Havilah was reminded of the biblical character – Queen Vashti. The Bible records that her husband, King Ahasuerus of Persia (Xerxes the Great), had called for a feast that was not only lavish but well attended by nobles, Princes, and important men from all corners of his vast kingdom, in high spirits, he had called for his wife to parade herself with the crown on her head, to display her “beauty” before all and sundry. For refusing to obey the King’s orders, her action was interpreted as rebellion which was capable of influencing other women to disobey their husbands. Consequently, she was banished from the King’s presence and lost her place.

My guess is that if this had happened in our times, she would have received the support of Feminists and Human Rights activists and undoubtedly, the social media machinery would have risen to her rescue. However, on deeper introspection, my thoughts are that in those times (about 400 BC), very powerful Kings such as Xerxes were perceived and treated as Demi-gods. Their orders were Law and people severely punished and even killed for disobedience. Therefore, when Vashti chose to disobey the King’s instruction, she should have expected repercussions as the consequences of her action or in this case inaction. The lesson here is that in whatever circumstances we find ourselves, may we learn to apply our hearts to wisdom, especially in questionable circumstances.

Back to Belema, she got home to find Micky asleep on the living room sofa. Wisely, she allowed him to sleep out the drink before having the much-coveted discourse the next morning, by which time he was not only sober but more receptive to her view, and her anger too had dissipated. Needless to say, such indiscretion never repeated itself.

Love

Havilah

Jemima, Santhus and Paul sat in a café sipping drinks to calm their nerves after experiencing a “holocaust” after which her best friend – Abigail, hurriedly exited. Jemima kept pondering and asserting that this was a horrible dream from which she would soon wake up. To think that she and Santhus had been on the brink of a divorce. Thank God for the intervention of Paul. She finally found her voice and expressed herself…” Wow, this world is wicked!” she exclaimed.

Jemima and Abigail had been friends from high school and throughout the university. Soon after school, Abigail had been involved in a whirlwind marriage which had resulted in a much-contested divorce. After that, the relationship had grown even closer, and Jemima felt free to discuss everything in her life with her friend.

In recent times, Jemima’s marriage to Santhus was going through turbulent times. After five years of marital bliss, she could not wrap her head around what was happening. Trust had taken a walk out of the door; communication had taken a back seat and was limited to monosyllables. They lacked the grace to listen to each other, talk less of praying together. They kept a façade for the outside world by attending events together, but they both knew the marriage was on the brink of collapse. However, in the innermost recess of Jemima’s heart, she still loved Santhus and desired that the marriage be resuscitated. Santhus also felt the same and had confessed to his closest pal-Paul, that he loved Jemima but could not understand what was happening to them.

After lots of digging, Paul realised that the root cause of his friend’s problem was Jemima’s trusted friend, Abigail. Both Jemima and Santhus had placed their trust in Abigail and made her their confidant. Unfortunately, Abigail had belied the trust reposed in her and manipulated their relationship. Paul then invited the couple over for dinner to talk things over and asked them to listen to the lyrics of a 1963 song by Jim Reeves and Dottie West – “Look Who’s Talking.” As the words rang out, they were not lost on Jemima and Santhus “The ones we thought were our best friends were our worst enemies…eyes that search where there is something wrong were welcome to our home…two broken hearts that lies destroyed.” As if on cue, both Jemima and Santhus exclaimed “Abigail!” Suddenly, it dawned on Jemima that she had believed everything Abigail had told her about Santhus without questioning motive or rationale. She had painted it as the duty of a “loyal friend” to inform Jemima of the contrived misdemeanors of Santhus. He was portrayed as an unrelenting Casanova while feeding Santhus with lies about Jemima. Jemima trusted Abigail implicitly and was grateful to her for revealing the true Santhus to her. Little did she know…

It took the discerning mind of Paul to align the accusations and counter-accusations, tracing them all to a common source – Abigail. Paul then suggested that Jemima invite Abigail to their favorite rendez- vous, a café close to her house. On that fateful day, as they were discussing the proposed divorce, in walked Santhus and Paul to join their table, to Abigail’s discomfiture. Abigail involuntarily reached for her bag and hurriedly excused herself to use the restroom but not before Paul blurted out, “The cat is out of the bag Abigail, why did you do it?’

Abigail broke down in tears and confessed that she had always envied her best friend – Jemima. When she got married, she thought she had gained an edge over her but when her marriage collapsed, she could not understand why Jemima’s should thrive. With ample time on her hands, she contrived the mischief to put them at par. She broke down and wept bitterly and after offering her feeble apology, she hurriedly left the scene.

Thank God, Paul was able to save this marriage, but some key lessons learned are:

1. The institution of marriage can be fragile but the only third party allowed in it is GOD.
2. Communication is the oil that keeps the marriage running smoothly and should never be allowed to break down.
3. Praying together is important and the fire of the family altar should never be allowed to fizzle out.

May the Lord keep us away from unfriendly friends and give us discerning spirits for our relationships.

Love

Havilah

Ogbealu is the product of a beautiful marriage where conviviality, peace and marital bliss reign supreme. Of course, as in any relationship, there were disagreements but the ease with which issues were resolved, left the children in no doubt that love conquers all. She however noted with a growing sense of unease, that a lot of her peers were having dissolved marriages in contemporary times and her enquiries revealed that the marriages of children tend to be patterned after their experiences at home. After all, the home is the first sphere of influence for any individual. In a bid to help young marriages and intending couples, she started a monthly marriage seminar and today’s topic is “The impact of the foundation/home on marriages in contemporary times.”

Mildred was previously in a marriage where physical and emotional abuse held sway. She was married for a little under a year and during that period, any time she had to work late, she suffered palpitations connected to an anxiety syndrome. She suffered numerous bashings and was locked out of her matrimonial home on several occasions, but she endured everything until she suffered a nervous breakdown, and the hospital advised a separation, albeit temporary, to enable her to maintain her sanity. Her explanation for enduring the intense abuse was that she came from a home where her father had dominated and her mother had endured similar abuse, ostensibly for the sake of the children. Consequently, any complaints voiced to her mother were always met with “Mildred, be patient. After all, if I could manage your father, you should do similarly with your husband.”

Peter, on his part (a reformed wife batterer), explained his situation thus. “My father would always teach his boys that the word of God states clearly that wives should submit to their husbands. (In hindsight, that was the only biblical reference I heard from him…I wonder if he knew any other). He believed that most wives were stubborn and opinionated and must be forced into submission even if it was through punishment. I learnt that lesson pretty well as my mother was a recipient of constant acts of brutality with rights and privileges withheld. She however remained in the relationship, albeit unhappily. My first wife moved on as a result of my mindset and it was only after my current wife suffered a miscarriage as a result of beatings, that I had a rethink.”

Wosilat explained, “In our home, it was somewhat different. My mother was an expert at giving “. She would ignore my father and withhold food and other privileges for what she referred to as “Bad behaviour.” I grew up feeling it was the right way to manage disagreements. I tried that a number of times with my now estranged husband. On the fourth occasion, he gave me the beating of my life and I landed in hospital. That led to our estrangement as I almost lost my life. To be candid, I believe I had pushed him to the limits, so he reacted with pent-up anger.”

Ogbealu rounded up on the note that the home is the first sphere of influence for children and serves as their template for how marriages should be handled. Where parents show maturity in conduct, responsibility and managing challenges disputes or disagreements, the children are more likely to follow that template when faced with similar challenges. A conciliatory arrangement tends to stabilise marriages. Where the contrary is the case, the children imbibe a culture of strife which invariably results in the breakdown of the family unit.

Havilah is reminded of the lyrics of one of Millie Jackson’s songs that was a hit in the late seventies, “You Created a Monster.” As parents, we are expected to mould the character of our children but sometimes our actions or inactions create monsters out of our children, which then become impossible or at best, difficult to correct, control or manage. It is my prayer that the Lord will help us to be good examples to our children and all who look up to us as mentors. The saying “Example is the best teacher” is so true and we should never forget it especially as it impacts young marriages today. The rate of break up of young marriages is becoming alarming and a discouragement to persons of marriageable age.

I can’t believe I skipped the usual wishes for a successful year! Dear readers, thank you for the encouraging reviews and support in 2023. I wish you all a prosperous year ahead and may all your desires come through.

Love

Havilah

I got on my laptop to “holla” at all my peeps as usual and felt this unexplained inertia. Suddenly it dawned on me…it’s the season!

It’s that season of the year again when the atmosphere is electric, and everything appears magical (at least for some). It is a period of splurging, dazzling lights and décor, corporate and social events, sharing of gifts and general fun and banter.

The holidays are a joyous time and Havilah encourages you to indulge yourself in things that are self-gratifying – make yourselves happy relaxed and stress-free.

As for Havilah, she intends to hibernate and give her fingers a well-deserved vacation, far away from her laptop.

Wishing you lots of love, happiness, and blessings. Have yourself a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

See you in 2024!

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Ciao

Havilah

Simbi and Tejumade are two friends working for an upscale multinational company in the manufacturing space. At today’s town hall meeting, they were informed of the company’s decision to wind down its operations in the country as a result of the “unfavourable operating conditions in their host country.” Although the announcement did not catch most employees unawares, they had secretly hoped that the company would continue to weather the storms and keep them gainfully employed. Simbi and Teju, as she was fondly called, simultaneously heaved a huge sigh as they retreated to their favourite relaxation spot in the staff canteen to mull over the information. The news required careful consideration given the harsh economic realities and dearth of viable employment opportunities at the time.

“Teju, your situation is better than mine,” Simbi opined. “At least, Lanre still has his job. My Nnamdi got laid off about a year ago and has been begging to apply since then. I had since assumed the role of the breadwinner and we have managed on my salary and a few contracts Nnamdi has been able to secure.” Teju shook her head in sympathy and replied “Hm… my dear sister, what will happen now, especially with the two children currently in secondary school? Honestly, I wish there were something I can do to assist.” Simbi responded with a smile and a rhetorical phrase – “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” She continued “The announcement actually came as no surprise as we all expected it at some time or the other because the signs were pretty evident, so I had actually come up with my plan in the face of any eventuality. I had weighed my options by considering my latent skills and talents which I can now harness for revenue generation. I owe it to my mother who insisted that during my university vacations and in my NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) year, I pick up millinery skills and baking. I will do some refresher courses and brush up on these skills. I guess I could probably make more than I earned as a salary if I concentrate on these two business streams and having worked in an organised sector like ours has its advantages in assisting me better manage the businesses.”

“Lucky you,” Teju replied. I am not that blessed as I have no learned skills outside of my formal education and work experience. Lanre will have to pick up the tab for all bills until I can secure another job.”

“Not so” Simbi replied. “Do not forget you are meant to be a help mate to your husband, not a liability. You must look inward to your innate abilities and talents and use them. This is the time to utilise our training and think outside the box.” “I remember the small chops you made from scratch for your daughter’s naming ceremony a few years back. They were delicious with a unique flavour. Have you thought of commercialising it and expanding your scope? It is never too late to learn a new skill. You will be surprised at what you can achieve.”

“So true” replied Teju. “I like the positive angle you have taken on this. You know, I have a cousin who suffered a similar fate two years ago and has not been able to secure employment since then. All she does is sit at home, mope, and reach out to extended family members for help. The situation has taken a toll on her marriage and health…hmmm, I really think women should understand their empowerment by taking control of their lives. That should reduce the number of able-bodied women I now see begging on the streets.”

Simbi nodded in agreement. “Yes, indeed Teju. I actually consider such women who are begging – lazy. What happened to roasting yams, plantain, groundnut, corn, and the like? Some women even help carry purchases in the marketplace, all in order to earn a living. There is dignity in labour.”

Havilah is of the opinion that we must encourage our youth to learn multiple skills and explore their innate abilities and talents, towards developing their entrepreneurial capabilities. This amounts to value creation and becomes essential in a world where orthodox jobs are becoming scarce. To remain relevant, they must not only hone their skills but also develop a mindset that there is dignity in labour thereby eschewing laziness which attaches a stigma to their person.

Love

Havilah

Mama Pat as she was proudly referred to in the village, hurriedly finished her dressing as she prepared to attend the merit award ceremony organised by the Federal Government, in which her daughter Patricia, was an awardee. She momentarily felt a wave of sadness that her husband, Borokini, was not alive to witness this day. Patricia had brought pride and joy to the family and so also had David, her brother. She quickly thanked God for the children she had been gifted with and hurried into the car which was waiting to take her to the award ceremony.

Mama Pat had started her primary education at the local village primary school but had not been able to further her education because her parents had been peasant farmers and could not afford to send her to the nearest secondary school which was 6 miles away. She had been forced to learn the trade of pressing palm oil from palm fruits and had gone on to become one of the best palm oil producers in her locality. She had married Borokini, a palm wine tapper and together they had trained their two children Patricia and David, until he passed away. Borokini had passed quite early in their marriage but through the patronage of her childhood friend, Anthonia, she was able to subsist together with the children until fortune smiled on her. She spent time teaching her children true Christian values of honesty, fairness, hard work, and was good at administering appropriate discipline. She taught them to place their confidence in God and that all things work together for good for those who trust in God. Patricia would often return from school to help mama Pat with the oil press and her petty trade. Pat, a highly intelligent and cultured girl was favoured to win the Community scholarship that saw her through secondary school. She later obtained a scholarship admission to an Ivy league university in the U.S.A and the community once again rose up to the challenge of paying for her living expenses during her studies. She graduated Summa cum Laude in Public Administration and returned into public service in her home country. Her quality Service was now being appreciated by the merit award she was about to receive.

Mama Pat’s mind momentarily wandered to her friend Anthonia as she wondered how she was faring. The last she had heard she was bemoaning the fate of her son, Sotonye. Mama Pat and Anthonia had started life as closest friends having been classmates in their local primary school. Anthonia had left the village for the city after her primary education, to live with her aunt in the city. There she had gone on to Secondary school and to the Polytechnic where she graduated with a National Diploma in Business Studies. Thereafter, she had married a business tycoon in the city who had set her up in the palm oil business. She had a thriving business and had reached out to Mama Pat to be one of her suppliers. In partnership with her husband, she had given her three children the best education they could afford. Unfortunately, Anthonia had concentrated on wealth and the luxuries of life, to the detriment of inculcating the right value system in the children. She worked extremely hard and left their training to the school, maids, and cooks, and Sotonye, her youngest child was the most hit by the neglect. She had spoilt Sotonye silly in compensation for the neglect she guiltily acknowledged. Whenever he ran into trouble anywhere, she was quick to bail him out using her money as bribe and bait in diverse situations. Her motto was “money solves all problems”, and Sotonye had come to believe that any and everything could be handled by his mother to his benefit. She had paid for Sotonye to attend a private University in the U.S.A and after a long sojourn of about 8 years, had graduated with a bachelor’s degree in dance. Upon his return home, his parents had utilised their influence and connection to land him a Federal Government appointment. Three years into his office, he was indicted for fraud and mismanagement of funds and kicked out of office with ignominy.

Anthonia while bemoaning Sotonye’s plight, sat watching the Federal Government awards on television and was surprised to see her old friend – Mama Pat’s face among the crowd waiting to witness her daughter’s award. She broke down and wept bitterly. She muttered “Indeed the key to Nation building lies in the hands of women. Instilling the right values starts from home. I never spared the time to teach my children right and see where it landed me. Mama Pat kept advising me, but I ignored her in the belief she was not “forward looking”.

Havilah is of the opinion that mothers are indeed the KEY to Nation building as they have a responsibility to inculcate the right values in their children so that society can experience a positive impact. It is no gainsaying that even from biblical times, the impact of mothers on the values exhibited by their children, has always been evident. That is why, Lois and Eunice got a mention in the bible concerning the way they had brought up Timothy. They had impacted his life positively. I pray we connect the dots as to how we directly or indirectly impact our nation and assist in bringing up citizens with the right values.

Love

Havilah

Yours truly was at the Christian wake keep of a beautiful old lady who had just passed away at the age of 80 and listened to all the wonderful testimonies that attested to her as the quintessential virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31 of the Bible. Mama was known for her acts of charity to all and sundry, her sacrificial giving of time, resources, and skills to help widows and orphans in particular, her wise counsel to corporate concerns, her deep involvement in church projects and so many other great works. However, I was most moved by a young man who walked up to the microphone alongside his wife and two beautiful children. He introduced himself as a recipient of Mama’s immeasurable love, which had enabled him an education and that had made him a son by assimilation into her family. Mama had also extended that love to his wife and children. His testimony was encapsulated in one simple sentence “Brothers and sisters…if we still lived in biblical times, I would have invited Apostle Peter to resuscitate Mama.” I found this to be a profound testimony as it set me thinking about the reference to Dorcas (Tabitha) of Joppa, who was resuscitated by Peter, according to Acts of the Apostles 9:38, for her good works and acts of mercy in sewing for the poor. These deeds singled her out for mention in the book believed to be the most widely read book – the bible. Her memory has thus remained blessed through the ages. Because of her charitable acts, good works and hospitality, the women were pained at her passing and requested that Peter resuscitate her.

Dorcas was a virtuous woman who lived a life of purpose, diligence, and forgiveness. She served God through service to humanity and was a disciple of Christ which is why the women sent for Peter. She served others with love and kindness. She spent wisely which enabled her enough to be charitable. She was industrious engaging in profitable work with her hands and assisting others. She exuded an inner beauty which was recognised and evidenced by the love people had for her.

As women, we should emulate Dorcas by being charitable and hospitable to all, giving not just material things but also care, time, and counsel. How often do we lend a hand, particularly in these difficult times?  Have you assisted that young mother who must juggle her work schedule with picking up the children from school whereas you have the time and means to actually pick them up from school and keep them comfortable till she gets back from work? What of that washerman, security guard, or driver who can barely eat a meal from his meagre salary, while you have excess foodstuff, both raw and cooked, have you thought of giving him some? Have you put a smile on the face of your neighbour by paying for extra tutoring for his son who is your son’s classmate or paid for his external examinations which funds his parents are struggling to find? Honestly, there is so much to be done and we can be creative about assistance but most importantly, let us put a smile on someone’s face. What indeed will you be remembered for – your kindness or your hostility, your hospitality or your aloofness, your gentleness, or your brashness?

I recently came across two persons who were pleasantly surprised by the results of acts of kindness presumed forgotten. The first person had assisted some itinerant students with accommodation, feeding and out-of-pocket expenses while they were in the university. The 3 ladies had lived in her boys’ quarters, and she never knew their parents. Long after they left school, they remained in touch and expressed their gratitude by gifting her with a Mediterranean ship cruise. The overwhelming joy she experienced cannot be captured in words. The second is a recipient of the result of his father’s largesse. Having applied to a Government Parastatal regarding a contract, he walked in to see the Director-General with the hope of obtaining favour. Immediately after he announced his name, the Director-General asked if he had any relationship with a certain man with the same surname and when he affirmed the man to be his father, the Director-General waved him to a seat and recounted how his late father had been monumentally helpful to him and that he would gladly do anything in his power for any of his children. Needless to say, what he was requesting was a done deal. It is important to note that our deeds never go unnoticed and the rewards for our actions, both good and bad are often reaped whether by us or by our children. Let us learn to give positively of ourselves to humanity.

Love

Havilah

It was another beautiful day and Omiete who was busy with her customers at her flourishing restaurant suddenly realised that the woman who supplied her fresh vegetables daily would soon be around to pick up her payment for the previous day’s supply. She hurriedly called Okon (her teenage son} who was hard at his studies for his SSCE (Senior Secondary Certificate Examination) to hurry to the bank ATM which was close by and withdraw the sum of N20,000.00 (twenty thousand naira) cash for her use. Reluctantly, Okon left and Omiete returned to rendering service to her customers. It was not until about two hours later when the vegetable vendor arrived that Omiete realised that Okon had not yet returned. She asked all the staff if they had seen him and dialed his cellular phone. To her surprise, his number was switched off. This sent a wave of panic through her because she knew her son. He was not one associated with frivolity and had always acted responsibly. Something must be wrong she thought. “Where do I start from” she whispered to herself. His father had passed on when he was a toddler and Okon was all she lived for. Hmm, she headed for the bank and insisted on seeing the Manager although they were closed to customers. She made a report and was advised to report to the nearest police station. She rushed to the station only to be informed that nothing could be done until after 24 hours of his disappearance so she should come the next day. She was restless, could he have been involved in a hit-and-run accident? Did robbers follow him and dispossess him of the money? Was he kidnapped? The questions were endless and there was no respite. She rushed to her church and poured out her anguish to the parish priest who calmed her somewhat and prayed along with her. She was then advised to wait until the next day and the priest volunteered to accompany her to the police station.

Omiete hardly slept a wink all night as she kept vigil till morning and was busy counting the hours until it was 24 hours since Okon had left the restaurant. As if on cue, the parish priest picked her up in his car and they headed to the police station. She lodged her complaint, and the police accompanied her to the bank where the CCTV camera of the bank showed Okon as having collected money from the ATM. They however noticed that he was closely followed out of the bank premises by a young man whose face was caught on camera. The police also tracked the phone using the IMEI code and were able to trace its location to another town bordering the outskirts of the city. Omiete’s heart was pounding loudly as she insisted on accompanying the police to the suspected location, hoping to see her son but all her entreaties fell on deaf ears as the police insisted that it would be dangerous to do so. After about three days, Okon was brought home by the police although he needed to be treated for shock and malnourishment…but what was that compared with the loss of a child…worse still, an only child. There is a local proverb that interprets it as: “The death of a child is less traumatic than that of a missing child that is never found”. Omiete was grateful to God for the return of Okon and likened it to the joy that the father of the prodigal son in the bible, felt at his return.

Unfortunately, the case of missing persons, and in particular missing children, is on the increase globally. Parents are warned to teach their children safety, security consciousness and awareness and schools should assist in the education process as well. People also need to acquaint themselves with the steps required in cases of missing persons.  In Nigeria, these are:

Informing the police within 24 hours of the time the person became missing. For emphasis, I repeat WITHIN not after. In Nigeria, S.90 of the Police Act of 2020, states this clearly.

A report should also be made online through the Missing Platforms Platform. The platform partners with technical assistants and the ICRC (International Committee of the Red Cross) to provide trauma management services for both the family members and the reconciled missing persons.

Advertisements in all media platforms e.g., visual, audio, and social are also helpful.

It is also noteworthy that the IMEI numbers of phones can be used to track the location of phones, which may assist in tracking down hideouts. Most androids have apps that assist in finding the phone and this could help the police in their investigations.

Love

Havilah