It’s a brand-new year  with great potential, expectations, proclamations, visions and the like. Havilah raises a toast to all of us for crossing over into 2025 and prays for good success, health, upliftment and unwavering blessings for this new year.

During my two weeks break from my PC, I was chilling with friends and family, especially the millennials and genzees visiting Nigeria for “Dirty December” and as I sipped on a glass of white wine, one of the stories caught my attention.

There were three friends who had been friends from their secondary school days through university and beyond – Gbonju, Chima and Uyi. It happened that after graduation Uyi had travelled to the USA and seemed to have stabilised there and frequently sent money to his parents and siblings back at home. He travelled back to contract marriage and during the ceremonies, caught up with his two friends Gbonju and Chima who were already married but finding things difficult in keeping up with responsibilities. He advised them to apply for visas to visit him in the USA – a land he described as “God’s own country.” He promised to help them relocate but advised that they visit without their families to ease the transition, and they could later send for family or bring them over.

About six months after the wedding, Gbonju and Chima were able to secure visitor visas and visited Uyi in the U.S.A and were warmly accommodated at his house. Two weeks down the line, Uyi returned from work and summoned his buddies to a conference. He cleared his throat and started “I am sure you guys enjoy what you’ve seen of the USA so far, but this kind of life must be fuelled by money. We must now think of how you can make your own money to fuel your lifestyle. You know that your visa clearly prevents you from employment so I will introduce you to the ways you can remain here and possibly take on a job.

1. You can use someone else’s social security number by assuming that person’s identity. Ther usually are persons willing to do this for a fee especially if they are no longer resident in the USA. Are there disadvantages? Certainly, apart from being illegal, the person may already have crimes and /or offences accruing to him.
2. Engage in an “arranged marriage” with a citizen for a fee and through it obtain a green card.
3. Apply for asylum claiming fear of persecution back at home.
4. Legally marry an American citizen.”

Both Gbonju and Chima were silent as they pondered their options and asked for time to deliberate the options. Some two days later, Chima booked his return ticket and bid his friends farewell after an additional week of stay. As far he was concerned, none of the options were agreeable with him and he would rather return home, than do anything illegal or anything that negated his principles. Gbonju on the other hand, decided on option 4 insisting that his preferred option would have been the second option, but he lacked funds to pay for the “service”.

In response to Uyi’s observation that he had obtained his visa on information that he was married, Gbonju decided to procure a “fake” divorce certificate from home. This he did, without conferring with his wife – Gbeke. He felt it was unnecessary as he proposed to divorce his American wife Meredith, after resolving his stay. Unfortunately, things got complicated, and Meredith had a baby boy for Gbonju whereas Gbeke and his two lovely girls remained back home.

After about five years of sojourn in America playing hide and seek with Gbeke, Gbeke obtained a visa to the USA where she came to the stark reality that Gbonju had a legally married wife in the person of Meredith and there was an official divorce record filed regarding her own marriage. Disappointed, she returned home and ultimately remarried.

I took a deep breath and exhaled with a “Whoa! This is profound. So much to learn about how far desperation can lead and the effects of making the wrong choices.” Could Gbonju have fared better? Certainly, yes. Chima was rational in his thinking. Could Gbeke have seen it coming and pre-empted things by visiting along with Gbonju or earlier than she did? Maybe. Nevertheless, as we commence a new year, my advice is that we commit all our plans into God’s hands and keep within the ambits of the Law in whatever we do. The Lord will help us.

Once again…Havilah wishes all my readers a successful 2025!

Love

Havilah

N.B. “Detty December” – Wikipedia defines it as the festive period typically from mid-December through the New Year when many Nigerians including diasporans return home to celebrate and felicitate with family and friends.