I stopped by to see an old friend, Ebitemi, yesterday, to while away time and reminisce about “the good old days.” At about 4 pm, Omiete (her daughter) marched in with her two children – Biobele and Beredugo in tow, both looking petulant. As they walked in, their grandma called out, “Happy Children’s Day, my dearies,” holding out her arms for an expectant hug. Both chirped, “Thanks, Grandma, but there is nothing HAPPY about today.” Biobele, the older of the two, continued…”Mummy says she cannot take us out even to the movies as she has no money. What is Children’s Day without a treat?” Omiete tartly responded. “Stop whining, Biobele! Mom, they need to understand that these are tough times, and every expenditure must be carefully weighed. I just cannot afford the largesse now.” Without a word, Ebitemi pointed the children to her cookie jar filled with assorted homemade cookies and, after excusing herself, grabbed her daughter’s arm and dragged her to her room for a tête-à-tête. After about 30 minutes, Omiete emerged with a cheerful mien to find her “terrific two” as she often referred to the children, engrossed in a TV program. She managed to get them into the car with a promise of a surprise weekend activity to celebrate Children’s Day.

As my friend strolled back to join me, with a satisfied smile on her face, curiosity got the better of me and I inquired about what had transpired inside the room. She said she had merely reminded Omiete that quality family time is the foundation of bonding with the children and creating the fond memories that transcend time. Those memories are created by fun times that may not require loads of money but rather time and relationship building. I asked her to put on her creative cap and reminded her that it was during one such holiday, I taught her to bake and we reminisced over the burnt experiments we laughed over until she got it right. That opened a dam of memories for her as she recounted family picnics in the garden, folktale sagas interlaced with songs, cultural dance steps I had taught her, my secondary school escapades, and pranks. Much of what she pulled up I had long forgotten, but it was heartwarming to see that they had left an indelible mark on her. She had ended it all by saying, “Mom, I could almost write your biography from birth!” I then advised her to make out time while shutting out other pressures, to celebrate Children’s Day with them at the earliest opportune time. Her final words and display of affection threw me off balance. She threw her arms around me and with a huge hug and kiss, said “Mum, thank you for being a formidable mother – the best. I want to thank you for all that you did and still do. I especially cherish the Happy Children’s Day wish you sent today, and the beautiful prayer and affirmation attached. May God bless and keep you to see my grandchildren.” Honestly, dear, I felt so fulfilled and appreciated.

As parents, we must always seize opportunities to exhibit our love and care for our children. Our actions leave a lasting emotional attachment that transcends our departure. Not only will we be remembered on Mother’s Day and our special Anniversaries, but we will be treasured and missed for all time.

To ALL who are born of a mother…HAPPY CHILDREN’S DAY!

Love

Havilah