It was the first day of the Semester and Hussain and Fatimata took adjoining seats for their first class in the Department of Sociology where they were freshers. Instantly, a bond of friendship was created as they smiled and exchanged pleasantries. This bond strengthened over their four-year sojourn in the University as they kept adjoining seats and enjoyed their lunch break in each other’s company, throughout the period. Course mates often wondered at the length and depth of their conversations which often spanned a variety of topics. On Fatimata’s part, she often briefed Hussain about all who indicated an interest in her and when she started dating Dapo, she solicited his advice on issues relating to their relationship which he willingly gave. After graduation, Hussain was posted to serve his National Youth Service in Cross River State while Fatimata headed to Zamfara with a promise to keep in touch. However, attempts to keep in touch by Fatimata were unreciprocated by Hussain and the relationship fizzled out.

Some ten years post graduation, fate threw Hussain and Fatimata together and they found themselves seated beside each other at a meeting in Hussain’s firm where Fatimata had been asked to represent her director. Imagine the shock on their faces coming face to face with each other again. After the business of the day, Fatimata retired to Hussain’s office and the following conversation ensued.

Hussain: “Just look at you girl. You could have been my wife you know? You just friendzoned me and toyed around with my emotions for four good years.”

 Fatimata gasped and responded saying “Come off it Hussain, you know we were nothing more than good friends. In fact, I saw you as an older brother in whom I could confide and seek advice. If you really felt differently, how come you never voiced it?”

Hussain’s calm response was “How could I when you were always confiding in me, especially about Dapo. I wanted your happiness and I am sincerely happy you sorted out your issues with Dapo and eventually got married. When we were posted to different states of the country for the National Youth Service Corps Scheme, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to break the cord after all, I had been friendzoned and couldn’t bear to continue to be strung along. Anyway, all that is history and I am genuinely glad to see you again”.

Fatimata ended the discourse with “That is an unfair statement Hussain. How was I to read your mind when you never voiced out your intentions? Don’t forget I was a naïve young girl in her late teens when we met in school. You know, I always wondered what I did wrong for you to end our friendship that way especially since my calls and messages to you in the early part of our service year were never acknowledged. Now I understand better. It certainly has been great catching up with you.”

The Cambridge dictionary defines Friendzone as “The state of being friends with someone when you would prefer a romantic or sexual relationship with them.” You know you are in the friendzone when she asks you for relationship advice.

Havilah is of the opinion that quite often a lack of declaration of one’s interest may end up putting such a person in the friendzone.  People must learn to communicate their intentions either verbally or through actions and not leave the discernment of their motives to conjecture.

Love

Havilah