Sessi sat all alone in the darkness of her bedroom oblivious of everything around her. She was deeply concerned about her mother’s health. Mama had shocked them all with her resilience after her father passed on some ten years before. They had been worried about Papa’s passing because the two of them were like conjoined twins…inseparable. Now, however, her state of health was worrisome, and although she had adequate funds in her account for medical treatment, the funds could not be accessed. Mama was mentally incapacitated as she could not even remember her signature and was unable to physically visit her bank. Sessi on her part had just expended huge sums in acquiring a property which had drained her finances while her younger brother Hotonu was just settling down having recently relocated with his family. Between them, they could not afford the medical bill for Mama. As she pondered the way forward, she remembered how several years ago, she had come home bustling with vigor and ideas from a seminar she had attended on – preparing for old age.

She had shared the information learned with enthusiasm but the response across the room from her parents and only sibling had been deafening silence. Later. Hotonu had castigated her for what he termed “Insensitivity.” “Come on sis, who in the world discusses preparing for death?” he had asked. The seminar had identified Health Insurance as a necessity for the aging and aged as statistics had shown that medical bills constitute a large spend for the aged. It also discussed the need to have a co-signatory to bank accounts to smooth hiccups from irregular signatures and a situation where the original owner of the account may not easily access his/her funds as a result of disability or even death.

As she reminisced, she recalled the example of a lady whose father had died simply because they could not rapidly access the funds in his account because of disability. On the other hand, someone had mentioned that his father had requested that he be buried within a week of passing and one of the children had since been made a cosignatory, making accessibility to funds seamless. It was therefore easy at the father’s passing to access funds needed for his burial. The issue of wills, trusts, and deeds of gifts were also discussed regarding the devolution of properties to beneficiaries of a deceased person.

Sessi dragged herself back from her thoughts to the reality on the ground. What would she do about Mama’s situation? She could not just fold her arms and watch. What was most painful was the fact that the funds for treatment were available in Mama’s account but could not be accessed. If for that reason Mama could not be treated and passes on, she doubted that she could live with that on her conscience. She purposed to make a case at the bank and an appeal to enable access to the funds for her treatment. If only Mama had made her a co-signatory when her health started failing, it would have been a different story now. Was it an issue of mistrust, ignorance, or just a refusal to accept the obvious? Whatever the reason, she knew better now and purposed to harness her training and exposure to prepare herself for aging and, ultimately death.

The recalcitrance towards discussing death and considering it a taboo will need to change. Quite often within the African setting, people consider discussing issues relating to death or preparing for death as a taboo. However, as Shakespeare put it in his epic book Julius Caesar, – “It seems to me most strange that men should fear, seeing death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.” Truth be told, preparing for old age and/or death, only eases the flow both for the aging and their caregivers/children. May the Lord grant us the wisdom to do the right things at the right times and expose us to relevant information for our circumstances.

Love

Havilah