It is twenty years since Mama’s passing and Simi is fidgeting with a much-cherished relic…some waist beads, a generational heirloom inherited from Mama. Mama had been an extremely strong woman, a firm yet loving mother who had brought up three flourishing men and Simi her only daughter and last child. Simi was raised in an Upper middle-class setting and had attended choice schools with high levels of international exposure, she even attended a Finishing school in England and was well-positioned for life in the Upper class of society. Left to her doting father, there lay her future.

Mama on the other hand left no stone unturned to expose Simi to the other side of life. Household chores were never restricted to the hordes of stewards, maids, and cooks that milled around the house as she drilled Simi in home keeping techniques to the highest of standards. She would scrub, clean, handwash, and cook, anytime she was back home from Boarding school. While at school, she had no special privileges and learnt to manage the scarce resources Mama made available. In those times Simi thought she had it all figured out…Mama could not have birthed her yet treated her so harshly. One day, she would summon the courage to confront her into disclosing who her true mother was.

Precisely on the occasion of her eighteenth birthday, as if Mama had a prophetic unction, she called Simi into her room, shut the door and prayed for her from the depths of her heart. Thereafter, she sat Simi down and had a heart-to-heart discussion which left an indelible impression on Simi. She could recall every single word that was uttered.

“My dearest Simi, my alter ego. You may not believe it, but you are a better version of me, and I love you to the moon and back” Mama started. A startled Simi responded, “Hmm…but mum, that is hard to believe with all the hard work and austere conditions you made me face amid luxury. What a queer way to show love.”

Mama had smiled and placed Simi’s face in her hands thereby forcing her to look into her eyes. “Simi love, someday you will understand it was all for your good. It is my prayer that you marry into affluence, so you can have an easy life, but…que sera, sera – what will be, will be. What happens if things do not turn out quite as rosy or your family encounters a “wilderness experience” where you are forced to barely survive? I had to hone your coping skills so that you don’t fail in times of adversity.”

That was Mama for you – full of wisdom and importantly, it was a word of prophecy because three years into Simi’s marriage, her husband Bulus lost his business to fraudsters and their fortunes took a deep dive South. Thank God that Mama had prepared her for such a situation which enabled her to weather the storm while trusting God for a change. It had been fifteen years since and God had indeed been faithful, but the experience had made Simi appreciate Mama all the more. This appreciation is further heightened when she considers with sadness, the situation of her childhood friend, Sadia. Simi and Sadia had attended the same schools but unlike Simi, Sadia was spoilt silly. She was waited on hand and foot and never lifted a finger to do anything. She married into affluence but because of her lazy attitude, she was kicked out of the home. That set the stage for depression from which she is yet to recover.

Once again, Simi fingered the ancient heirloom and whispered “Thank you mama” before kissing Mama’s picture.

Havilah believes that our future is in God’s hands, and he alone knows the future. It is however, our responsibility to prepare as best we can for the future, so that we do not fall flat on our faces. Parents owe their children the responsibility of exposing their children to a BALANCED upbringing that can help them navigate in whatever waters (circumstances) they find themselves. We must realise that the answer to what the future holds for each child, lies with God. May the Lord help us in right parenting.

Love

Havilah