Molly had recently lost her husband in tragic circumstances. He left home for work that morning in high spirits, hoping to sign a multi-dollar contract. En route to the client’s office, he was trapped in the lift. Unfortunately for him, he suffered an asthma attack and before help could reach him, he had suffocated. Molly had been beside herself with grief. The days ahead appeared hazy and she lived through each day like she was in a trance. Banji had been such a wonderful partner, and she struggled with thinking of him in the past tense. Memories of the good and not-so-good times crisscrossed her subconscious. How would she break the terrible news of their father to their twin boys – TeeTee and Kenny, who were due back from boarding school in a week? They worshipped their father. Molly shuddered at the thought of how the children would react, even as she relived her reaction when she was first informed.

A knock on the living room door roused her from her reverie as she gently whispered, “Please come in.” It was late evening and as she sat in the enveloping darkness, she had felt too drained to switch on the lights. She barely made out the form of a young lady accompanied by a young girl of about the age of ten. She quickly snapped on the light switch which was within reach and exchanged pleasantries with the visitors. After expressing her condolences, the lady summarily introduced herself as Ore, the mother of Banji’s daughter, Ibukun. A perplexed Molly muttered “Which Banji…daughter…I don’t understand” to which Ore responded with an instruction, “Ibukun, greet big mummy.” The shock and consternation were evident on her face, but she managed a wry smile and waved the little one to a seat. Drained emotionally, she adopted the mode of silence as she awaited the return of Banji’s sister, who had gone out to pick up a few confectionaries.

Ten minutes later, Oye (Banji’s sister) sauntered into the room and Molly did a brief introduction of Ibukun as Banji’s daughter. Oye laughed and responded “Molly, you were always a comedian. Cut out the joke…this is no time for jokes. Daughter hm, from where to where? I know my brother well.” After some discussion among the three women (having excused Ibukun to have some ice cream in the dining room, Molly persuaded Oye to allow Ibukun to participate in Banji’s funeral, subject to a DNA test to determine paternity, immediately after the funeral, to which Ore agreed.

After the funeral, Ore reneged on the promise to release Ibukun for the DNA test, insisting that it contravened her religious belief. Oye however insisted that for Ibukun to be absorbed into Banji’s family, the DNA test had to be done, and she volunteered to be matched since her brother had been buried. Moreso, she queried how the child could have been hidden for ten years with neither family (immediate or extended) nor friends aware. Ore’s reaction threw a poser “How are we even sure that your DNA matches your brother’s? Without making insinuations, I am being practical about this.” An enraged Oye mouthed a stream of expletives and stormed out of the house. She, however, later listened to the voice of reason that saw it as a logical argument.

The question of paternity is increasingly a topical one and women must be faithful to their partners and establish the paternity of their children in their father’s lifetime. This will facilitate acceptance and a sense of identity as family members become acquainted and bond with such children, regardless of the circumstances surrounding their conception. It behooves mothers to shield their children from the trauma that can be associated with questionable paternity.

Love

Havilah