As Ladunni and Buky walked away from the Christian Fellowship centre deep in conversation about the bible study that had just ended, they heard a loud honk from an approaching Lexus jeep which packed just beside them. A cheerful baritone voice boomed “Hello Lady Dunni, hop in and let me take you home.” Ladunni quickly opened the door to the front passenger seat and waved her friend to the rear seat. On first appearance, Buky mistook the man in the driver’s seat for Uncle Gbegi – Buky’s brother-in-law who was married to her eldest sister, Aunty Pero. However, as conversations proceeded it became clear to Ladunni that this relationship was beyond the ordinary. When they reached the hostel where they both resided, Buky alighted and Ladunni drove off with the man.

The next day, Buky enquired from her friend about the nature of her relationship with the man and Ladunni’s response was “Olamide is my boo.” He is so caring and spoils me silly with gifts. He is interested in marrying me, but we want to give the relationship some time. We met two months ago and honestly Buky, he swept me off my feet. He genuinely loves me and adores the ground I step on. “ The accolades kept flowing until Buky said “Ladun, can you listen to yourself? This man is as old as Uncle Gbegi. He is probably married with children. What do you think you are up to? Ladunni quickly replied…”Yes, he is much older than me and married with two children. However, he says I am the girl of his dreams. He actually dreamt about his wife, and I fit the girl he dreamt about. He married his wife due to pressure from his parents and he plans to divorce her to marry me. After all, God moves in mysterious ways, and I know his thoughts for me are thoughts of good. He sees my needs and has sent me a Divine helper to carry my financial burden. I have also prayed about it, and I am convinced he is my God-sent husband.”

“Oladunni! Let us consider this situation from the logical, moral, and spiritual points of view.” Buky continued.

1. “How do you think members of your family will view your relationship with someone old enough to be married to your eldest sister?
2. How would you feel if you learnt Uncle Gbegi was in such a relationship and Aunty Pero is not aware?
3. How do you know he is being truthful about his intentions and purported dream or more importantly, its interpretation? I want to believe that your judgement is beclouded which is why you FEEL God is affirming him.
4. This relationship contradicts biblical principles. The Bible frowns at divorce and worse still, he is not even a divorcee yet. Hmmm sis, tread cautiously.”

Ladunni shrugged Buky off and started avoiding her but as a loyal friend, concern for her friend pushed her to relate her conversation to a youth counsellor at their Fellowship Centre – Mrs. Gbotemi.

Mrs. Gbotemi sought out Ladunni and took her through a series of sessions on the interpretation of the bible on the sanctity and integrity of marriage, what constitutes adultery (even the act of lusting, is considered adultery) including the desire or intention to engage in extra-marital relationship. She asked Ladunni to question his motives for all the gifts he lavishes on her. ” Does he not have relatives who need his benevolence?” Eventually, she succeeded in convincing Ladunni to break off the relationship and reconciled the two friends Buky and Ladunni.

Havilah is of the opinion that enlightenment and educative discussions need to be done for teenagers especially as many are naïve when they gain admission into tertiary institutions where they are usually away from the supervision of parents or guardians. They must understand that things are not always what they seem, and the litmus test is to be aligned with God’s word. No leading from the Holy Spirit will contradict God’s word because God is not a God of confusion, and he will never contradict his word.

Love

Havilah