It was a Parent/Teacher forum at one of the high-brow Secondary schools, and the set agenda had been adequately dispensed with, and it was time for the Any Other Business (AOB) segment. As soon as the segment was mentioned, Mrs. Badru, Sekina’s mum, shot up her hand and almost immediately was on her feet. She was at the meeting to complain about the disciplinary measures meted out against her daughter for bullying. Sekina had appropriated lunch served for two other students to herself, causing them to go hungry. Although she did not applaud the behaviour of her daughter, Mrs. Badru argued that it must have happened because the food portions were small. Immediately, an uproar erupted in the hall as parents mouthed their differing opinions about the complaint. In order to bring a semblance of sanity into the hall, the gavel was applied, and parents were allowed to air their views in an orderly manner. Of the various comments made, the lengthy submission made by Barrister Tonworio Jack held sway.

He started by stating clearly that Sekina was wrong, and if she was hungry, she should have taken her dissatisfaction to the authorities rather than deprive others of their entitlement. It shows that she has the wrong values, and she clearly displayed a lack of consideration for others. This, he continued, is the bane of society and smirks of self-centredness. He went on to expostulate further, “There has been an erosion of values over the years, and we sometimes complain that the “genzees” are apathetic, but it is our fault. We cannot give what we don’t have, and there has been a generation where Civic education was totally erased from our educational curriculum, and parents failed to fill in the gaps. Our children no longer feel a compulsion to assist the physically challenged and impaired, vacate their seats for the elderly and pregnant women, or assist in other ways. There is a concerning lack of empathy. What do we expect when parents are seen displaying a total lack of consideration for other road users on the road? Bus drivers stop and take off at will, Zebra crossings are considered mere markings, traffic codes are violated with impunity, and even the courtesy of greetings is ignored. Social events are not left out of the degradation as adults hoard food, drinks, and party favours that are meant to be distributed, collecting multiples and thereby depriving others. The list goes on. To curb this rapid decline in our societal values regarding courtesy, respect, tolerance and empathy, schools have the responsibility of teaching these values and enforcing compliance, which I am glad, the school seems to have done in this case.”

In support of Barrister Jack’s views, Professor Abubakar shared his experience. He was patiently awaiting his turn to pay for a few items he picked up at a supermarket when a young lady cut in front of him and expected to make payment for her purchase. He was initially stunned but found his voice and pointed out that there was a queue, and he was next in line. She replied lackadaisically that she had only one item, which was why she felt she could jump the queue. An elderly lady who had been watching interjected, “You shouldn’t assume, but you should have asked him politely.” I was completely mystified when  the young lady turned on her, asking her to mind her business as she wasn’t the person involved.” Another parent, Mrs. Gbajumo, also had an example to cite. Her car broke down, and she needed to make an early appointment, so she boarded a Bus Rapid Transit (BRT) bus. Because it was rush hour, the bus was crowded, and a few people were standing. Those standing included a heavily pregnant woman and an old man with a walking stick. She immediately vacated her seat for the elderly man and requested a seated student to vacate his seat for the pregnant woman. The boy’s response was to look away and mutter,” My leg is paining me.” Under his breath, he continued, “As if I did not pay for my seat.” The house decided that the discipline meted out to Sekina was justified and commended the school’s efforts in inculcating the right values in the children.

A visibly humbled and embarrassed Mrs. Badru, walked out of the hall, her head bowed in embarrassment.

Havilah is, however, of the opinion that “charity begins at home” and that the efforts of the educators should complement that of the parents and vice versa. After all, if we don’t train them, we cannot blame them for unethical conduct.

Love

Havilah