Toru dashes in to see her mother – Emi, earphones in place. She navigates her zoom meeting as she quickly hands over mom’s prescription drugs to her. She is on her way to pick up the twins from school and as mum tries to recount her experience for the day, she responds with a sharp “not now mom. We will catch up when I come over on Saturday”. With that Toru sails out the door and contemplates the fastest route to the twins’ school to avoid traffic.

Come Saturday, Emi eagerly awaits the visit of her only daughter – Toru and prepares Onunu, the favorite meal of the twins. After a hearty lunch, the children run off to play with the neighbour’s children while mother and daughter settle down to their usual weekly tete-a-tete.

Toru begins “Mom, you look exquisite. So natural, fresh and relaxed. Was it not for your strands of grey hair you could easily pass for my elder sister? In fact, my friends are always teasing me and commending your looks. The stress of the times just doesn’t seem to leave its mark on you, meanwhile, I remember when we were growing up, you were always so busy with the shop, I determined never to grow up running a shop. It just seemed so stressful”.

Emi responds “Baby girl, the years between 20 and 50 constitute the “Hustle phase of life”. You feel you must make it or break it especially as you look forward to a stable life by age 50. At the same time as you are building a career/ business, you are juggling home, and investing for the future, while keeping up with the Joneses. Life is a whirlwind at that phase. Believe me, when I say, I can identify with you.”

She continues: “However, given that the average life expectancy is 70-80 years, the phase between the ages of 50 and 80 should be spent in quiet repose enjoying the simple things of life. The tranquility and serenity with which you face life at this point emanates from within and exudes a radiance that gives a youthful glow to the skin. This, my dear daughter, is what can be referred to as graceful aging”.

Toru too responds “Mom…mom and her rhetoric. “I guess the real question is – what do you need to do to achieve graceful aging”?

Emi looks at her daughter and says “Grace enables you to focus on three things which help you achieve tranquility and serenity. What is Grace? G-R-A-C-E. The race of life must have God (G) in the forefront, to achieve success and ease the race. Grace can therefore be achieved by taking the following steps:

• Godliness. Devote your time, service, talents and substance to God. Give back to him that which he has blessed you with and Grace shall be multiplied. Walk in obedience to him and live above anger, hatred, envy, bitterness, covetousness and the like. Keep your heart clean and pure.
• Rejuvenation: Spend quality time on things that renew and reinvigorate your body. Eat healthily. Exercise, spend time on recreation and do things that put a smile on your face and fill you with joy. Leave past accomplishments and mistakes in the past where they belong and enjoy the simple things of life. Be content with your current state. Remember, the saying – Godliness with Contentment is great gain.
• Community Service: Give back to society. Impact lives with your talents, and your resources, positively touch lives as inspired by God and do things to and for people that you will be remembered for e.g., kindness, showing love, meeting some needs, etc.

Lastly, dear, my mantra comes from the words of the songwriter, Horatius Bonnar and I quote “…Thus would we pass from the earth and its toiling; Only remembered by what we have done…”.

Never forget that all we have talked about can be summarised as God’s grace being primarily responsible for the external features of peace, calm and serenity which results in the look of wellness that you see. May his grace always be sufficient for us.

Love

Havilah